Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Hmmm...

Well ive been trying to get over silly guys, meanwhile been shopping gymming and getting horny but not much action... HELP ME! lol





both are me by the way! ;)

posted by Bunsguy @ 9:18 PM 6 comments

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Heartbroken more than anything...



Have u ever had bad things come to your not once, but twice. I had. Remember the 2 guys which i was talking about in my previous post. The 2 guys who disappeared on me. Yes i saw them BOTH at the clubs! I thought it was going to be a normal fun night out with my friends.
and when i saw the 1st guy, i was shocked for awhile. He looked at me and then his eyes turned away, pretending not to know me and acknowledge me. I went up to him and said hi and all. all he said was oh i seldom go out and im coming out to bring a friend from overseas around. and im really busy with work. I didnt even bother to ask him why when everything seems to go right, he disappeared. I wasnt very upset. In fact im glad hes out of my life, because he is a fucker and he just wants to play around i guess.

The night went on fine. I drank lots and felt good. Until, i saw the second guy. I was shocked to see him. Because hours before i went to club, he sent me a text message explaining that he was sorry he didnt talk much because he just needed somemore quiet time, and he needs to get away from people. And he said he wanted to slow things down between us and focus on his work. And he will call me when hes ready to. Fine. So when i saw him i was thinking, oh u need sometime away from people and u come clubbing. I think he was surprised to see me too. But he was drug fucked. He took lots of it. He was so cold to me. So indifferent. My heart just sank. That feeling sucked especially when u had to force yourself to look normal on the outside but on the inside it hurts. We didnt talk much at all in fact i felt like i was invisible to him. He said he took drugs cos its a way of coping. I dont like the way he thinks that drugs can solve his problems. When i looked at him, he wasnt the guy i knew before. I can only see someone whos high on drugs thats all. And then as he walked around, i kinda followed him like a fool.

He went to the toilet and was peeing beside this guy. He looked at that guy up and down. He seemed like he was trying to cruise him. My heart sank even further when i saw that. That guy went to wash his hands. And he followed and kept looking at that guy. That guy gave a delighted smile like "oh im so happy im being cruised" kinda look. I sooo wanted to KILL that guy. Anyway that was the saddest part of the night. Him trying to cruise another guy right in front of my eyes. I dont know whether its the drugs or maybe its just him. But i felt REALLY hurt. I couldnt take it anymore, i told him i needed to go off. And he said, "oh its not that i dont like u, i just need some time away". He didnt even give me a hug or a kiss. and i went off, heartbroken and hurt. I went out of the club, called my housemate and cried.

I just dont understand why this had to happen to me. I had to face both guys in a night and its quite emotionally draining. I dont know whether you guys have been through times when u were heartbroken. I am sure you can understand how i feel now. When i woke up this morning, i could only feel sadness in me. I could only picture images of him with another guy. Picking up another guy maybe. Bringing home another guy maybe. Kissing another guy maybe. I dont really care at all. What hurts most was that he was so cold to me.

I dont know if i will be willing to go out with another guy. I dont know if i should still go out to clubs. All i know is that i do need a break and sometime for myself to heal my wounds. I know it might sound very "drama" but its all real and its happening to me. I think i should just forget about the second guy thoroughly. Even if things go further, would i want someone who uses drugs to cope with problems? No.

So can anyone tell me, what should i do now? Is he worth it? Did he really like me or is he just playing me around and leaving me hanging?

I dont want to be played by guys anymore. It hurts.

posted by Bunsguy @ 3:17 PM 3 comments

Monday, June 18, 2007

Im back!

Sorry i havent been updating much. Have been too busy with assignments, exams and guys. But somehow this busyness with guys have been good and bad. I dont know if ive mentioned this but im facing the same situation again. If uve read the previous post about the guy who suddenly disappeared, yes the guy im dating (well, i dont know if we are) disappeared too. On that day i cried on the phone as i was talking to one of my good friends about the disappearance of the 1st guy, i was online and started talking to this guy whom i added online but seldom chat. We chatted and chatted and we decided to meet up the next day. Everything was fine. We went for more dates and then we went to club together. That was the day when he told me he liked me and all. I was surprised, like, why the sudden decision to tell me he likes me and stuff. We made out and held hands and danced like a couple in the club. It was one of the great nights ever. I stayed over at his place and cuddled to sleep.

I saw him one week later. He went out the night before and was smashed. But i still made the effort to visit him and accompanied him. And then he gradually became less responsive. I was the one calling him, texting him and he seemed to be tired or troubled all the time. Sometimes when he sounded more positive, i felt happier. But 2 Fridays ago was the last time i talked to him. I asked why was he not responsive and was he avoiding me. He said no he said he had lotsa problems at work and had to solve them first. So we ended our conversation like that. He never picked up my phone calls or return my text. It kept me wondering whats going on. Is he dating another guy? Did he get into any trouble etc. So last Friday, ive decided to visit him. As i was on my way, JUST about to reach his place, he texted me FINALLY. He said sorry for not answering my phone calls because he needs some time off everything. He needs to get things sorted out. I was relieved to hear that but at the same time puzzled. He wasnt at home anyway.

Like what my friend said, if he really likes me, he will try to even make time just to text or talk to me. But he didnt. And why cant he solve his problems and at the same time talk to me? I made an excuse for him. maybe he settles his problems differently. Like, he has to take a break from everything and all. My friends were telling me hes not worth it. They said, "dont waste good energy on people who don't show as much concern as you do for them..."My friends think that hes a nice guy (from what i told them) but they are not sure whether he just wants to have fun with me or is he serious. Im not sure either. What do u guys think? Help me please... I have so much things to tell him and to ask him. So many questions on my mind. I need some closure even if he doesnt want to get serious. I want to know, if he will still go out with me? Is he seeing another guy? How does he feel about me? But i never got the chance to.

I hate to say this but i think im a real loser. Why do i always meet guys who keep giving me excuses? Well they might be genuine or maybe not i dont know. But ive been quite troubled over all these matters and ive been feeling quite depressed about all these matters. My life seems to be going downhill. This year ive been feeling so troubled about relationship matters. About guys. Being depressed about guys. Theres more to life than guys. But once i meet this guy, things get better for awhile and then it just goes down. I know its all up to myself to help myself. I will try to. For the sake of myself.

I just wish things could be better, just for once, or twice even. Ive had enough of guys and their bullshit... Im really upset...

posted by Bunsguy @ 11:47 PM 3 comments

Scary!


One dead, two wounded in Melbourne CBD shooting
Milanda Rout
June 18, 2007
A HUGE manhunt is under way for a gunman who killed one person and injured two others in the heart of Melbourne's CBD this morning.

Much of the centre of Melbourne is in lockdown as police search for the gunman who fled on foot east of the city after the shooting. Eyewitnesses saw the man drag a woman out of a cab on the corner of Flinders Lane and William Stree in the city just after 8am. Two bystanders apparently came to help the woman, only for the aggressor to pull a handgun and shoot all three. A police spokesman said a male had died in the shooting and a man and a woman had been taken to hospital. Ambulance officers have placed a sheet over a body at the scene of the shooting, near the corner of Flinders Lane and William Street. Cherie Harding, a worker in the Rialto building opposite the shooting scene, said several of her colleagues heard up to four shots. Ms Harding said she saw ambulances at the scene and stretchers being used to transport patients. “There are a few people here who heard them (gunshots),” she said. Police said they were now searching for the gunman in Melbourne's city district. Ambulance spokesman James Howe earlier told of paramedics trying to resuscitate a critically injured victim at the scene. He believed the gunshot wounds were in the victims' upper bodies.


Melbourne's city centre was in shutdown as police searched the area for the gunman, with offices sealed off and people kept away from nearby workplaces. Witness Carly, who is in the Rialto building on Collins Street, said people in her building had been told not to move. “We've just been told that none of our people who are waiting downstairs to come upstairs can come up,” Carly told 3AW. “They've blocked off all the access to the floors in our building because they're still looking for the shooter. “We're not allowed to go anywhere and no-one is allowed to come up into the building.” Carly said she had heard six or seven shots about 8.15am, coming from the corner of Flinders Lane and William Street. Police Inspector Glenn Weir asked people in the area not to panic. “There is an extensive search underway to try and find the offender at the moment,” Insp Weir said. “There are numerous police attending to the search within the vicinity of the incident and there is a large cordon and containment operation underway as we speak. “We are just asking the public not to panic and assist police if requested and if you have no business being in the vicinity of Flinders Lane and William Street please keep out of the area.” The gunman is described as wearing black jeans and a denim jacket, with short light brown hair. Inspector Weir said it appeared the gunman knew the victims. “There is no suggestion this is a random act - it appears there was a relation with the gunman and the victims, so we are asking people not to panic,” he told ABC radio. Malcolm Bates, a witness, said before the shooting broke out the gunman grabbed a woman by the neck as she sat in a taxi, and tried to get into the vehicle. “The lady got away and he turned and shot three people basically point blank,” Mr Bates said. “I was right across the road.” He told ABC radio the gunman then ran down Flinders Lane toward the city centre. He said the whole scenario took no longer than “the wink of an eye”. Police wearing bullet-proof vests were scouring the area, and police helicopters hovered overhead. Insp Weir said the last confirmed sighting of the gunman was east of the shooting scene, on Flinders Lane.


The Victoria Police homicide squad this morning took over the investigation as the police Special Operations Group joined the search for the gunman. Police have blocked off a number of city streets until further notice and have also begun evacuating some buildings.
Police said a handgun had been found a short time ago at a Melbourne city construction site near where the three people were shot.
The gun was found at the construction site on the corner of Flinders and Queens streets they said, but had yet to confirm if it was the one used in the shooting spree.

posted by Bunsguy @ 3:53 PM 3 comments