I Love Sausages and Buns

Im back!

Sorry i havent been updating much. Have been too busy with assignments, exams and guys. But somehow this busyness with guys have been good and bad. I dont know if ive mentioned this but im facing the same situation again. If uve read the previous post about the guy who suddenly disappeared, yes the guy im dating (well, i dont know if we are) disappeared too. On that day i cried on the phone as i was talking to one of my good friends about the disappearance of the 1st guy, i was online and started talking to this guy whom i added online but seldom chat. We chatted and chatted and we decided to meet up the next day. Everything was fine. We went for more dates and then we went to club together. That was the day when he told me he liked me and all. I was surprised, like, why the sudden decision to tell me he likes me and stuff. We made out and held hands and danced like a couple in the club. It was one of the great nights ever. I stayed over at his place and cuddled to sleep.

I saw him one week later. He went out the night before and was smashed. But i still made the effort to visit him and accompanied him. And then he gradually became less responsive. I was the one calling him, texting him and he seemed to be tired or troubled all the time. Sometimes when he sounded more positive, i felt happier. But 2 Fridays ago was the last time i talked to him. I asked why was he not responsive and was he avoiding me. He said no he said he had lotsa problems at work and had to solve them first. So we ended our conversation like that. He never picked up my phone calls or return my text. It kept me wondering whats going on. Is he dating another guy? Did he get into any trouble etc. So last Friday, ive decided to visit him. As i was on my way, JUST about to reach his place, he texted me FINALLY. He said sorry for not answering my phone calls because he needs some time off everything. He needs to get things sorted out. I was relieved to hear that but at the same time puzzled. He wasnt at home anyway.

Like what my friend said, if he really likes me, he will try to even make time just to text or talk to me. But he didnt. And why cant he solve his problems and at the same time talk to me? I made an excuse for him. maybe he settles his problems differently. Like, he has to take a break from everything and all. My friends were telling me hes not worth it. They said, "dont waste good energy on people who don't show as much concern as you do for them..."My friends think that hes a nice guy (from what i told them) but they are not sure whether he just wants to have fun with me or is he serious. Im not sure either. What do u guys think? Help me please... I have so much things to tell him and to ask him. So many questions on my mind. I need some closure even if he doesnt want to get serious. I want to know, if he will still go out with me? Is he seeing another guy? How does he feel about me? But i never got the chance to.

I hate to say this but i think im a real loser. Why do i always meet guys who keep giving me excuses? Well they might be genuine or maybe not i dont know. But ive been quite troubled over all these matters and ive been feeling quite depressed about all these matters. My life seems to be going downhill. This year ive been feeling so troubled about relationship matters. About guys. Being depressed about guys. Theres more to life than guys. But once i meet this guy, things get better for awhile and then it just goes down. I know its all up to myself to help myself. I will try to. For the sake of myself.

I just wish things could be better, just for once, or twice even. Ive had enough of guys and their bullshit... Im really upset...

posted by Bunsguy @ 11:47 PM