I Love Sausages and Buns

Nostalgia...

I was bored and suddenly i made an impulsive decision to club on a saturday night. And i asked someone whom i havent seen for quite sometime.

Well lets call him N. I met N about a yr ago at the club. It was sorta "like" at 1st sight. I was hopelessly looking at him and i was thinking to myself, "nah he wouldnt notice me". But when he looked at me, he sorta smiled and later on, i cant remember who started talking but we talked and talked and we ended up at the fast food restaurant and we kissed there.... did i tell u how hot it was to kiss at a public place and everyone was looking... =P

Anyways we didnt progress much as i had to go overseas afew days later. And the next time we met when i was back, i asked him out to club and i stayed over at his place. I didnt think much about us as when i was away he was going out with afew guys. I just thought that he wanted to play around, just like me.


The next time i saw him, it was at a club and we just chatted and we went outside and he hugged me. I thought he was drunk and i totally was not interested. He told me he thought i was busy with other guys and stuff like that. We kissed but i did not put in any feelings. But somehow i told him that i wanted to go out with him and we could start by going for a movie. He was cool about it but in the end, we didnt because he was busy.

So yesterday, i asked him to go out to club and he was surprised because we havent been in contact for so long. But it was nice seeing him after so long. However, it was only when we started kissing that eveything came back. The first time we kissed, the nice feelings we used to have for each other.

SAD thing was hes dating someone. And he liked that guy pretty much. I was jealous. very jealous in fact. I told him to date me but he say he cant do that or else it would be unfair to the guy. Fine. I felt rather insecure on our way there and i know he could sense it. It was fun walking around, dancing and chilling out with him. I wanted to kiss him at the club but he stopped me as he said he didnt want his date to catch him kissing another guy. He explained that he didnt want to hurt his date. I felt annoyed but i had to deal with the fact.

Well but we did kiss bits in the toilet sometimes and it felt good. He said he could really communicate with that guy. But i could communicate with him as well... maybe on a different level? We do have our share of laughter and cheekiness. I felt there was a sexual bonding as well. Especially when we kiss. It was a mixture of slow, passionate and fast kisses and he loved me to provoke him using my tongue. I stayed over and there was no sex at all. Just kisses, cuddles and hugs.

Ive never really enjoyed sleeping with another guy on the same bed especially if its a stranger or not a close friend. but i felt so comfortable yesterday i just remembered we took turns hugging each other to sleep. Trust me, that kinda feeling makes u feel like staying in bed the whole day. And i clearly remembered, i told him i really liked him and he said he really liked me as well. And we were kissing deeply and he just said something like, "make sure this time we dont lose contact at all". I was happy but i know somehow things wont happen like i wanted things to. He said hes confused and he wanted some confirmation from the other guy first. So now im 2nd in consideration, great.

Its good to have this lovey dovey feeling sometimes. But knowing that this feeling wont last sucks. I called him today and that guy was over at his place. I was really jealous but what can i do? I just have to blame myself for not proving to him that i was serious and i didnt grab my opportunity earlier. Somehow im confused. Do i really want him? Or am i just jealous because he has another guy and i really want to own him?

Its nice to look back at things and feel nostalgic once in awhile.... I dont know how this will go but we'll see. Maybe its just a sudden infactuation. Maybe the tables will be turned. Well moral of the story: grab the chance when you have it. i do miss him abit and i will be happy if he ever thinks about me... =)

I can't keep on waiting for you
I know that you're still hesitating
Don't cry for me'cause I'll find my way
You'll wake up one day
But it'll be too late

posted by Bunsguy @ 1:09 AM