I Love Sausages and Buns

Blue Sunday

Today feels like a blue Sunday. I feel tired and worn out after a round of clubbing and having some SAD (sex alcohol & drugs). I hate it when u wake up the next morning feeling lousy, tired and so dehydrated. Yet when u are having that moment of fun, you dont think about the after effects of it. Is it really worth it? Hmmm... well at least ive decided not to go out tonight, which is a good thing.

Today i went out with B. Well we get along pretty well, always making fun and teasing each other. Nah i have no feelings towards him anymore, but i still think hes quite a nice and cute guy. Anyway he was telling me he was sorta seeing someone bla bla. We hung out at his place and started making out later. He took the initiative of course. Well and i reciprocated. But that was it making out. After that, he was telling me its nice to spend time with me and all without having to be actually dating. I find it nice too, but then i feel used sometimes.

Anyway as i was on my way home, i decided to give Hunky S a surprise visit. Just to say hi thats all since he worked really near my place. When i got there, he was walking out of his workplace with my acquaintance. Hes gay of course and S looked surprised to see me. They were just goin g out to grab some food to eat. It was really awkward. Like i specially went there to see him and he was going off with another guy. He messaged me later on and asked if i wanted him to come over. I told him to spend time with the other guy instead. Im not really jealous, just kinda pissed. I dont think i have the right to be pissed too. whatever.

And recently, Blonde guy S was added back to my MSN. we were flirting with each other. Hes really my type. I tend to like blonde guys i dont know why. But anyway i was sorta looking forward to date him but he was telling me he thinks im incapable of dating just because a fellow friend of his spotted my body picture on some gay website and sent it to him. So he has been bugging me for sex all day but i cant be bothered really.

Sometimes its hard to understand what guys want. Sometimes i dont really understand what i want too. I guess not many guys like to commit these days. Do i? im not sure, maybe with the right person. And whats most annoying is when recently many guys keep asking whether im attached? i said no i am REALLY single. And they sorta dont believe me, saying im so cute why dont i have a boyfriend? but its true! I really cant find the right guy to settle down with. I dont want to be left on the shelves really! BUt i know finding a boyfriend is not everything. Well at least im single and happy now =)

posted by Bunsguy @ 11:49 PM